Just One Night

Today started out as a blah day and it ended as a blah day. These days suck.

So to start off my day with blah, I basically failed my Algebra 2 test. Well hopefully not a full fail but not something that would bring my grade up. I hit myself for everytime I think about those STUPID STUPID errors. Fuck.
Then I mess up Sam's cyanotype. Ugh I'm really sorry for that. Ugh.
3rd was okay, except for the fact that I lost my book still bothers me alot.
4th was okay too.
5th was blah because I don't understand how to do the lewis dot structures or what shapes they are. Then we have a quiz tomorrow about assignments I should have done. STUPID ACT #4.
And then 6th was so annoying because Jeremiah and Diana wouldn't stop teasing me about supposedly liking ------. WTF. I don't like him. It got to the point where I almost just wanted to scream. They were even bribing him to ask me to prom. That's where I started really getting pissed. I maintained myself afterschool. Except for those small stupid things I should've considered and done. UGH. mistakes and more mistakes.

Then tomorrow. more UGH. I'm going to miss the rally. I know that its not that an important rally, but c'mon they're pretty much always fun. But after what I'm doing I'm going to go watch the play so that I can get some extra credit from Mr. Adams for failing that test.

All this school business overwhelms me. Next up to think about is SATs, AP testing, FBLA, STAR testing, summer school. I need a smarter brain. Upgrade please.

Edit:// You know what else is sad. How there are some things that are impossible when they weren't impossible 7 years ago. Today I was telling my mom about the GATE photography field trip and she read the permission slip which said Beach Chalet. She said she wanted to go one day. And I asked why. She said because my dad would always get mad at her because they never had the time to go there. And now .. its impossible to go with him. Him physically being there is never going to happen. And that makes me think why. WHY US. WHY ME. WHY MY DAD. WHY SO EARLY. WHY BEFORE I COULD ACTUALLY GROW UP. It just really sucks. I'll be missing out on a lot of things. I can't stop missing him. I can't stop thinking of him after every bad thing that I do or that happens to me. I can hide it all, but it will never be gone. Time to go pessimistic, but maybe I should never get married, so I won't have to walk to the alter alone...