Walk Like A Warrior

lYke 0mg iTz bh3en fa3vA n uH dAy -_-

It's winterbreak and I feel like it's about to end tomorrow. I haven't done much since it started.

Seattle was fun. Sort of. Okay, not really. Yeah, I spent time with my family, but I was by myself most of the time. Most of them had work and the snow kept us all inside. I saw the new Southcenter. It's soooo much better and has shops that I wish we had in San Francisco. And at Bellevue Square they have an actual FREE PEOPLE store. I'm jealous. Very jealous. Christmas Eve was fun. We played the questions game that Luzelle introduced me to and we laughed so much. I needed that. Then we played a few board games and at midnight opened our presents. I got
- A Northface jacket from Janessa
- A green book and 2 vegetarian/vegan cookbooks from Marla
- A Bestbuy giftcard from my mom
- $$$$

I didn't get much, but I'm actually pretty happy about that. For one, I didn't have a whole lot to add to my luggage and I'd rather just be happy during the holidays than have a whole bunch of unnecessary things.

I have no idea what I'm going to do for New Years. I never do anything with family anymore and I was supposed to hang out with Jon and his friends, but he had to go to San Diego =/ I only got to hang out with him one day this entire break. But it's okay, it was a good day :)

Next year is going to be completely different. I know it.

Oh I almost forgot. I got a dramatic haircut. Hah. I just wanted to see what it would look like, but I'm not satisfied. I'm probably going to grow it back again. Oh well.

Adios for a long time because I know I probably won't be updating again anytime soon.

Find A Way

The Paradox of our Time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and
hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer
space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air,
but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold
more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less
and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer,
to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the
stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time
when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

-George Carlin

Bounce

Obtained:
Descartes' Bones: A Skeletal History of the Conflict between Faith and Reason by Russell Shorto
Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives by Dan Millman
For One More Day by Mitch Albom
The Screwtape Letters: With Screwtape Proposes a Toast by C.S. Lewis
Life as we knew it - Nicholas Sparks
The Lucky One - Nicholas Sparks
American Earth: Environmental Writing Since Thoreau - Bill McKibben
The Almost Moon - Alice Sebold
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Mary Ann Schaffer
Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse
What Have You Lost? - Naomi Shihab Nye
Sophie's World: A Novel about the History of Philosophy - Jostein Gaarder
The Last Summer of You & Me - Ann Brashares
*finish the last installment of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Anti-Matter

Out of place.
Out of motivation.
Outcast.

How could I be so stupid to think that things were going back to the way they were.
Getting away would make no difference. I'd still have to come back.

Losingeverything.
Overanalyzing.
Desperation.
Nostalgic.
Squareone.
Impatient.
FlatoutEMO.

There's no point. So don't even try.

Everywhere

Shot at SATs numero dos = Hopefully better than the first
I skipped a lot more questions than last time so it's a make or break.
But I know I didn't do so well on the essay, that was shit. Big shit.

Then afterwards, went to L&L and ate and realized how little my stomach can handle now. Then we headed to Berkeley. During the BART ride, there was a gangster ass dad with his gangster ass sons and then the littlest one who was probably about 8 pulled up his sweater, and there i saw a vest-type of clothing. Then the little boy opened a pouch and pulled out a sharp blade. It wasn't your typical knife type blade it was like a special design blade that you would throw at someone. I was scared as FCUK man. I reeeally wanted to sleep like the rest of them, but I could not. I was scared they would seriously CUT us and rob us. Shit was scary. SO THEN, we missed our stop to Berkeley, but it was all good and then finally got to downtown Berkeley. Nothing special I guess. The atmosphere is chill and what not, but some people make it seem like it's the greatest place ever. We were lost many times and had a large amount of walking done. Ate some yogurt at a eco-friendly shop and then headed towards the UC campus. HELLA EFFIN' BIG. It must be so difficult to get to classes. Then we went to the "famous gate" and there was Telegraph! I definitely want to go back there someday. Maybe when I'm not always asking my mom for money and I haven't shopped in a long time! But I did buy a Berkeley t-shirt. I like it so much, I'm wearing it as my sleeping shirt! I think I'll buy one for every campus I visit, including SFSU! Ha. But yeah, lots of cool stores and restaurants.

Today was an overall good and exciting day. I love seeing new places even if they aren't the most interesting. Too bad I wasn't able to take pictures. Maybe because of time, cause I didn't want to be rushed in my photos.

NO MORE SPENDING FOR THIS MONTH!
No food afterschool (but I'll still go ;p), no shopping, nada! The Cal shirt will be my last purchase for this month. I better keep to my word.

Alive

The purpose for this blog is to put down some notes ..

CDs/Songs to download:
j. boogie's dubtronic science
james morrison - nothing ever hurt like you
teach U a lesson - robin thicke
the kills - midnight boom
rachael yamagata - happenstance

Books to read:
Life as we knew it - Nicholas Sparks
The Lucky One - Nicholas Sparks
American Earth: Environmental Writing Since Thoreau - Bill McKibben
The Almost Moon - Alice Sebold
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Mary Ann Schaffer
Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse
What Have You Lost? - Naomi Shihab Nye
Sophie's World: A Novel about the History of Philosophy - Jostein Gaarder
The Last Summer of You & Me - Ann Brashares ( Have it!)
*finish the last installment of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

I doubt I'll get to all those books this year, but it'll be a long-term goal :)

Movies to rent:
Another Cinderella Story
Made of Honor
Never Back Down
Stop-Loss
Jack & Jill vs. The World
My Sassy Girl

Things to do:
Pay Kaye for Dimsum
Create list of employed students
Write down all assignments & events in planner
Research majors and colleges
Research potential jobs
Ask mom for money for clubs/events/debt
Study SATs!!!!!!

I wonder what second semester will be like? Oh myyy.

Sure Hope You Mean It

So I'm watching the first show of my Monday night and felt bored cause this episode of Gossip Girl isn't very interesting. Hopefully OTH is muuuuch better.

Lately I've gotten my daily schedule for the week down, but my brain doesn't seem to function well. Constantly, I feel like my "intelligence" is so much lower than everyone elses and I'm just too lazy to prove myself wrong. It's whatever. 1st grading period ends soon. Hopefully my mom doesn't nag me about the two B-'s I'll have on there. Sheeeeeeet.

For the next two weeks, my priority is getting my grades up and SATs! Oh man, those are in two weeks. I've been on freerice.com so much, my fingers are hurting from clicking too many times. Haha. Hopefully I can also get through my entire book by the end of these two weeks. I don't think I'll be online much for the next two days and then I'm not sure about Thursday either.

I'm excited for the events to come. $$ is also to be spent and saved. Grr my shopping urges will test my ability to save. Anyone who reads this, HELP ME OVERCOME THEM! Lmao.

My Plan

School is a drag, but I'm trying to get through the RIGHT WAY. No cheating, no not turning in assignments. It's really difficult though. Especially with reading Wuthering Heights and Trig. Oh boyy trig, kill me.

Lately I feel like so awkward. Everywhere I go I feel like I'm out of the loop and everyone knows something that I'm unaware of. Or even like I just came into a room and its like people have just been talking about me. I put these thoughts into my head and they stay for quite awhile. Sometimes I exaggerate it all which does not help at all because for one, it lowers my self-esteem and secondly it causes me to perceive the real story wrong. Ugh. I don't act like everything is awkward, but trust me, I feel completely scared all the time. And sometimes I feel like everyone has suddenly changed including myself and we've all changed so that it doesn't flow. Or atleast I feel like I'm the one not going with the flow of changes, but everyone else is. I feel like I can't go anywhere without trying to avoid something or someone so it causes me to not be the kind of person I want to. I realize that it is mostly my fault for trying to avoid everything.

Summer ended too soon. I wasn't ready. I wish I could have came back to school knowing exactly who I want to be for the upcoming year, but unfortunately now I have no idea. I'm a people pleaser and if there's something wrong between me and something or someone else, I have to fix it or else it pretty much bugs me. It may not be a confrontation or a full overnight change, but somehow I just have to try to make things right.

Erg. jsdalsjflkmvktejnbnrtkbndlkjhsdkfjnsd;kfjewrk;gkdlfjhbkdfjnglkdfjnfkjlsdnh
alk;f;hfkwernrklndfkhgjkshfkjsdkgkjerherkgfkhgfhkgfhkjfdgfkj <-- this is me letting out my frustration.

i need help. forreal.

In the Ayer

The nice weather has now faded away. I guess its good. The hot weather irritated me a few times.

I wish the internet wasn't so interesting so that I could easily resist it and concentrate more on school.

My Goals for the rest of year:
_Lose 5 lbs
x Pay my debts to Berna, lol.
_Save the money I have now until November
_Finish college apps by mid-Oct
_Study every Tues & Thursday until SATs
_Go online 4 days a week, an hour & a half each day
_If I have a desperate urge to shop, go to secondhand stores
_Gym atleast once a week
_50+ crunches a day (what a setback =[ ..)
_Spend time with friends MONEY FREE

I'll probably add more as I think of them. For now, I'm going to finish my web design hw and then watch the VMAs :)

The Call

Flake

Week two of school has passed. I'm glad we have a three day weekend.

Yesterday I finally got to hang out with TSSS girls. It's been awhile since we've all gotten together especially because of school and other issues. Afterschool Regina and I followed Nancy & Luzelle to get their ears pierced. Oh man, I couldn't watch. I tried distracting myself by listening to music, but then there was blood and pain, ahh never again will I witness that. Then we went to the dollar store and bought cake mix. Too bad the sushi restaurant was closed for a certain time because me and Regina wanted some so badly. Then we took the bus to Regina's and watch Shall We Dance & Ella Enchanted. And everytime I'm with them I eat like a crazy maniac. I had chinese food, cake, pizza, spaghetti, ice cream, almond biscottis, and pringles. JEEZ, right? But water all day :) It was a good day. Hopefully we have a lot more in the future, even after high school.

Hah, the funniest rumor about me that i've heard lately is that i'm only into white guys! I wonder who said that. thanks for telling me, source. I guess it would seem that way lately, but trust me, they aren't the ONLY ones I'd go for. that rumors makes me sound racist. lol. Oh, and mr. stalker, can you please like go away? I don't mean or want to sound conceited with all this stalker talk, but seriously, can't I catch a break from seeing him or hearing him? He's always with them now, making friends with MY friends, and he's in one of my classes. GO THE FUCK AWAY. and maybe he's reading this right now since he's such a stalker and it's probably where the stupid rumor came from.

Anyways, on a more serious topic ... but I'm probably going to rant alot about this ...
Lately since there has been any OTH or Gossip Girl all I've been watching is the Planet Green channel. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! It has everything from how to make your house more sustainable to what celebrities are gaining eco-consciousness. Hehe, "offtop" one of the best channels created right now. (POPSTAR I HATE YOUR GUTS) And then all this watching leads me to go online and read all these blogs and foundation websites. My "Green" favorites folder probably contains the most links than all the others. I wish I had others around that feel just as enthusiastic about changing our environment and making a difference as much as I do. Right now I can't do much because of money and resource limitations. And also, support limitations. Especially my mom. She's annoyed anytime that I'm watching planet green or whenever I suggust an alternative to something that we do or have. But then when an adult talks about it, she's all for it, or saying to someone "you're not green" Ugh, please. That word. I'll use that word occasionally, but seriously, switch it up, there are words that came before the term 'green'. All I hear and see is green green green. "Go Green" on not even recycled or organic PLASTIC BAGS and PESTICIDE-FILLED COTTON shirts. Don't make it a trend. It's great that we're all becoming more informed on global warming and how to change our lifestyle, but that doesn't mean you should make money off of it. Anyone who buys those dumbass green bags and tshirts from F21 and what not are basically, dumbasses. I may not know everything there is to the issues we have in the environment, but atleast I can say that I'm trying to educate myself on everything. The worst places I've been so far that aren't helping all of this are school and the mall. At school, there are absolutely no recycling bins outside of classrooms, the recycling club really doesn't do squat, and school just sucks in everything. The same goes for the mall, there are NO recycling bins anywhere throughout Serramonte, a countless number of lights are on in each store, but I really love to see a store ask me if I need a bag instead of assumingly putting it in a plastic one. I myself need to start bringing around my tote everywhere I go. I also thought that when I get older or actually have a job, save money for college, and then save money for a little spending, and then save money to give to different organizations. I have too many different thoughts and opinions that sometimes contradict each other, oh well "I'm only human".

Wow, that was long. Anyone who fully read this post, congratulations.

We Got The Beat

This is sad.

http://www.vbs.tv/shows.php?show=894543038

Ain't Got You

Lately I've been in the blogging mood. And I don't care that absolutely NO ONE reads this. I'm sure in like a few years I'll read all of the entries in here and say "Man, I was an idiot." Hah.

Anywayssss, TGIF! The first week of school is over with. Now I have about a billion left to go. This weekend I am not homework free unfortunately. Lots of writing and studying to do. WeakfriGGensauce. Plus, I assumed I had my ID card in my wallet which is where it is 98% of the time, but today it WASN'T. So I have to get my trig and psych book on monday. More weaksauce. weaksauce is weaksauce.

I think both of their "feelings" have gone away. I got what I wanted. :) But its like seeing them everywhere, jeezus.

I need to make some ecogoals for myself because obviously the world is turning ugly and I feel like I'm just sitting here admiring others achievements when I should actually be DOING something.
EASY GOALS
1. Only one hour of computer a day
2. One hour of tv a day
3. get bigger bins for every different type of recyclables
4. only shop at thrift/vintage stores
5. stop buying a lot of packaged foods/goods/wuteva.
6. refuse plastic bags
HARD GOALS
1. eat all organic
2. take only the bus everywhere
3. plant trees
4. get rid of the tv in my room and in the guest room

yeaah random. goodbye invisible readers.

xoxolamegirl.

;p

What We Have Been Waiting For

Thought I might squeeze in a little blog before bed. Even though its already 9:05, eek. Whatever, 20 minutes won't hurt.

Second day of school. Not that bad I guess. For some reason though I feel like I have no idea where I am and everything is just a blur. Have I taken on more than I can handle? I don't think so. I just need to organize my week better and learn time management and forget about procrastination! I need some more iron in me because by 2:45 I just want to knock out. I think that's why I'm so much more quiet than usual in my classes. I just want to sleep whenever. Gahh.

Practice was okay today. No hiphop though.

For those TWO, I'm going to try to have a different outlook on the situations. Like it never happened or that I never heard anything. If I just keep playing the friendliness then nothing will happen, hopefully. I tried it today afterschool and it seemed to work. Plus, school has started so we have more to preoccupy ourselves. But I have 2nd period with one of them which isn't helping.

WorldPeace.

Can You Keep A Secret

I still have yet to receive my ALBL cd, so meanwhile I've been listening to the leak 24/7 and a band I recently found out about, The Cab. Mmm, I love their songs because they're not the typical alternative/rock type. Plus Marshall is the bombdiggity.


Ahh school is basically HERE! I can't believe it. I still feel like I've had an incomplete summer. Weaksauce. The concert was the highlight of the break, but I wish I did more. Hopefully my mind doesn't tell me to make up for it during the school year, because it'll only take me away from my studies. I must say goodbye to the watching of Jon&Kate Plus 8 at 11am & 4pm. Or watching comcast ondemand and planet green all day. Or the beautiful SLEEP! Adios to you.

Today I did major cleaning and organizing in my room. I've got my school supplies ready for Tuesday and my room looks more spacious.

This may be my last summer blog. Goooodbye.

Overnight Celebrity

I really dislike being an only child. It's so lonely. And when you want to do something, but everyone is unavailable, it's sort of .. depressing in a way. All my close female cousins live hundreds of miles away. Sometimes I also really don't like going places just with my mom because she'll make everything complicated and not enjoyable.

I hella miss the middle school days. Even though there was more than enough drama, it was still awesome. Actually I miss elementary days more. I think I've been watching too much Jon&Kate Plus 8. I miss that imagination I used to have with the things around me. Like putting Barbie and posse in different scenarios or playing restaurant, or even creating backstreet boy concerts with Jessica. Hah. Or listening to Avril Lavigne's Sk8ter Boy and Mandy Moore's Cry 10 times in a row because Stormee was addicted to them during our roadtrip to Las Vegas. Or playing kickball at recess and lunch and trying to become "kickball queen". Or 4 square! I just want to type out all that I can remember right now because i'm bored and nostalgic. I remember my dad used to take me walking for miles in Foster City only because it was nice weather. Or hanging out at Jessica's place upstairs and getting a gameboy color as a surprise. Ahh I have so much more but my mom is about to come nearrr. Okbye.

Take A Breath

Another day that I wake up at 6:45 to drop my mom off at BART just so I can take the car. I seriously cannot wait until my cousin gives me her car because having only one car and two licensed drivers just doesn't work.

School hasn't even started yet and I'm slightly starting to feel the stress of everything. I have green hat trainings, 09 meetings, cotillion practices, summer reading, and SAT studying (which I haven't started on because I get so lazy), then there's also the hanging out that MUST BE DONE before summer is over. Gahhh. I told my mom all of this and her response was "You're not supposed to have fun." Uhh yeah okay. I already have no fun at home every single day of the year. I can barely ever bring friends over because of HIM, I can't freely go into the living room to watch tv or the kitchen to make my own food. Even downstairs! HE gets downstairs! And you know what he does with it, destroy it. That was supposed to be the entertainment room. This house fucking sucks. It was supposed to be different from the condo, but its exactly the same just more places I can't go! That's the reason I go out so much because I hate being at home. I also partially blame it for the reason I've gained so much weight these past years. All I do is come home, eat, and stay in my bedroom. Nothing else.

But anyways, enough 'not family just people living in my house' drama.

At noon, the Burning Up cd leaks on mtv! Too bad I won't be online to listen to it. It's okay, I'll probably be listening to it for days until I get my cd :) Nick and Selena are obviously dating. Even though I'm incredibly jealous, I hope they last longer than him and Miley. Oh gosh, what am I saying. Lame moment. Ha.

LES Artistes

Another summer week gone by. This bites. Summer is coming to an end and I still don't have that full satisfaction. Part of me wants to study for SAT, read my summer reading books, and prepare for school. The other part wants to be like fuck it, this is the last "still in high school" summer I will ever have, time to go out as much as possible. I've got to decide soon what I'm going to do for the last few weeks because they are going by fast.

More later because I had a lot to say, but my mind just went blank. Maybe after I get some exercise and elephant bar food in me, I'll remember. Hah.

Last Thing On Your Mind

Before I go and take a late shower, I guess I'll blog a bit. I have a lot going on next week. I need a list to remind me what I'm doing each day.

Sunday - Gym maybe
Monday - with madre
Tuesday - stonestown at 12
Wednesday - practice
Thursday - meeting at Elephant Bar
Friday - senior portraits!

I need some time to test out how I'll do my hair for friday, but I don't know when! Maybe Sunday or Monday. Grrr.

So I went from $315 to $180 in less than a week. Fuck. I still have to save for school, save for the jacket, and school clothes shopping.

I can't believe school is starting soon. I'm sort of excited and ready at this moment. Probably when the last week comes, I'll scratch that and not want to go back. Hah. But when there's school I'm moving more which helps me maintain a steady weight. Summer throws it completely off. I'm nowhere close to achieving my goal weight for the bet. Darn.

The day I spent $90 and almost ended up in the projects. Oh, and I saw a giraffe =P

I Kissed a Girl

Ahhh I finally have the motivation to blog. It hasn't been too long since my last one though. But anyways, lotss to tell.

On Monday I went to help out COC at the golf course near Lake Merced. Kind of fun. We got free polos and an Outback Steakhouse lunch for free. Plus a goody bag that the golfers would each get. Then after registration of the golfers was done, we got to check out the course. Pretty boring if you ask me. The only fun part was riding on the back of the golf cart. Left around 3:15 and then dropped Julia off. We had to get ready to go clubbin'!!! HAHA siiike. Me, Sam, Julia, and Berna went to Fina Estampa to check out what Eminence is like. Met up with Sam's friends and waited in line. Turns out they were at capacity and we were SO CLOSE to getting in, but just ended up not. Lol. So instead we went to Rainforest Cafe. That place is so over priced. But I did enjoy the fish and I was amazed at the moving gorilla near our table.

The pack slept over that night. Watched my Dave Chappelle DVD and by the end everyone knocked out. Wrote all over Sam's arm. Goodnight.

Woke up and went to Pak n' Save to get a few things. Made delicious brownies and got ready for the Jonas Brothers concert. Dude, fitting like 10 people in my room was ridiculous. I could barely get in and out of there! Jasmine, Ray, Cristella, and Fritz rode with me and my mom while the other girls were w/ Sam. When we got there we went to the tour bus that fans can write on. Then waited in the longest line I've ever seen, but it moved pretty quickly. Got in, took a fake picture with the JoBros and then headed to our seats. The view was actually not that bad. Although I couldn't see their faces clearly with my own eyes, at least they weren't the size of ants. Demi Lovato was first. Her songs are actually not that bad and I might even consider downloading them in the future. :) When the boys came on ... oh man .. you have no idea. We went craaazy. I think that has been the only time in my life that I've screamed so loud and so much. By the end I think I was half deaf and my throat really really hurt. Ahhh one of the GREATEST GREATEST days of my life. No doubt.

The next day I had debut practice. Same as usual, but seemed shorter. And I suck at hiphop so much I was the last girl to be seen doing the bodyroll because I CAN'T DO ITT! Ahh the torture. Plus I had other difficulties like my partner. I wish I could still dance with the other person I had. Anddd, I'm not interested. sorry. It's only been two practices with you and already you're thinking of a more than friends type of thing? Not my style. Plus, I'm suuper super picky. Hopefully next week won't be awkward. Ah nvm I bet it will be.

And friend, please don't try to play matchmaker. That's another thing I'm not a fan of.

But ANYWAYS. Concert picture time :D

Moustache!!

Self-explanatory.

Demi Lovato. Her hair was very nice. Hah.

Opening - That's Just the Way we Roll

Cute mysterious sensitive one.

Cute sexy bomb funny one

A little bit longer, and I'll be fiiiiine

I'm slippin' into the lava and I'm trying to keep from going underrr

I'd wait for you. Bombass.

Magic

Yesterday I got back from Yosemite. It was an alright trip. I mostly just watched movie rentals, took pictures at the park, and ate. Oh and I swam .. man did it feel great because it was like 90s-100 there! And I felt really out of place because everyone there was basically white. Haha. Only at our resort was when I saw people of color! And one of the families had a goodlookin' son. Lol. But anyways, even though I barely did anything, I wish I could have stayed longer. Coming home, ugh. I come back to annoying popstars, ugly weather, and no privacy. Atleast in Bass Lake, my mom was more occupied so that she wasn't able to always bug me.

So here's my try at scenic photography. Still a nub.

I tried getting a shot where the bridge was empty, but people kept coming.

random.

focused on the nearest object

too bright in the upper half

no idea.

a sequoia tree. hella biiig

i need filters.

if only i had a tripod i could create a misty effect

crazy people climbing to be closer to the waterfall.

I tried the misty effect, kind of shows, but kind of shaky because i placed it on the railing and people were walking which made it move

Green Light

Ahh my mood is all wack. Overall today was a good day, but old stuff came up and then just pisses me off. So now I'm mad. lmao. So i'll vent a little.

Dude, I heard you guys saying his name, I'm not deaf. It was two fucking years ago. I swear, sometimes you guys are so immature and just .. lame. Haha. Get over the past.

You!, come call me out then. When YOU weren't even fucking going to dinner with us and you get mad that I wasn't giving YOU a ride to the party? THE FUCK? We were going in two totally different directions. And also, last time I checked I'M the one driving, & if you want to act like that, get your own car. Sometimes you act like you're so real and blunt and shit, when you're just as fake and is most shittalking person I've seriously, ever met. There are girls I know, who can talk til there's no tomorrow, but you are beyond them.

I'm getting tired. Not just physically, but mentally. I feel like everytime something comes up, I just want to ignore it and get the hell away from it. I can't take it anymore. I have feelings if you didn't know. I have my own shit to deal with if you didn't know. And I know, that no matter what mood I'm in, I will ALWAYS be there to listen to a friend. I will ALWAYS help, even if I may not want to, I will. But sometimes people takes advantage of that and I feel that I don't get the appreciation from everyone that I deserve.

But hey, gotta stay positive in order to get positive things in return right?

Edit:// Yeah, that was last night. I posted it, but then took it back. So now I'm posting it again, but adding additional stuff

But anyways, practice was pretty fun. My partner still wasn't there so I danced with Nicolle's partner. It was so embarassing because during the hussel we had to get pulled under the guys legs. So the choreographer used me as his partner, but when it came to that under the legs part thing, my fucking forehead hit his ass! Gross to the max. I'm seriously scarred for life. That plaid pants wearing ... ugh! Haha. But we learned more complicated moves for hiphop. I need to learn the lyrics so that when I don't have the music, I can just practice w/o it.

After practice, I dropped off Luzelle and then picked up my mom cause she said she wanted to go into the city. So she drove to REI and we got our KLEEN KANTEEN WATER BOTTLES! I'm so happy. But the down side is that they didn't have the colors I wanted =(. So I got this grey/brown colored one. Very very happy :D

That's it. For now I guess. I need to pack for this weekend. It's basically going to be my photography getaway. My mom wants me to bring my laptop, so update from there laterrrr.

Adios amigoas.

We Can Be New

So I'm up once again before 10 AM. And I slept at 3. AND I can't go back to sleep. This sucks.

I told myself that every Monday I would go jog Lake Merced, but today I'm going to pass because obviously, I'm pretty tired and I have debut practice at 5. So if you're up to motivate me to go to Lake Merced, hollerrrrrrrrr ;p

OH! And I've been wanting to get a glass water bottle, but when I went up to Seattle, my cousin introduced me to a stainless steel bottle. It's called the Klean Kanteen Eco Friendly 18 oz with Sport Top Stainless Steel Reusable Water Bottle. It's $16.50, but I think it is worth it. I told my mom about it and she seemed okay about it. I think she even wants one for herself. Hopefully I can get it before school starts.


I finally fulfilled my sushi craving yesterday. I went to eat with Dianne and Jennifer. I ordered so much, it was bad. When Jennifer just ordered tempura roll, I got tempura roll, spicy tuna, and unagi roll. And before that I ate a big bowl of spaghetti. Then after dinner I went to Sharlene's birthday party and had some mocha cake. It's absolutely not helping me achieve my goal or helping me win the bet. Ten pounds in what, two months? Not good whatsoever.

And the weather has been incredibly ugly the past week and a half. Come back sunshine :)

Can We Chill

Yess Sass x7 is gone. They sucked. But of course Supreme Soul stayed. The best part of their performance was the ending. But damn, Mitch's fan club is too big. Almost every girl is on his nuts or on Jpizol's from Boogie Bots. Whatever. I'm not going to "claim" Mitch. There are hundreds of other girls. But on the other hand, it does kind of suck, when you see a guy and then everyone else does. But whatevaaaa. I saw him before ABDC! lol. Just had to put that out there.


So Meliza's first debut dance practice was yesterday. Pretty cool. We learned HELLA moves for it being only the first day. I've been practicing at home as well. Haha. And even BERNADIT danced. Woohoooo. Haha.

Mom comes back Saturday. I can't wait til she comes back. I hate having to deal with my uncle by myself. He pisses the fk outta me.

I'm tired. I want to sleep until noon. But that's never possible for me. Its always before 10 am. Something is wrong with my teenage typicalness. Lol idk.

Heartbeat

Damnnn why am I up so early. I had to wake up earlier at around 4 to drop my mom and her co-worker to the airport. She's leaving me for a whole week to go to a conference in NEW YORK. I should have tagged along!! But it's too laaaaaaate. Oh well, I get Betty for the whole week, MAX. CHILLIN! Too bad the hella hot weather is gone. Those were intense. That second day, mann, I didn't want to do shiiiit. I would just sit doing nothing, and my hands would get sweaty! LMAO.

Short blog today. I need to get out and haang out so that I'll have a longer post next time :)

The beach once again.

The pack, wzzzzzup

Watching people on e is very entertaining.

Do Your Thing

Back in Californiyay.
Looks like I brought back the good weather with me as well.

It was a good quick getaway. Although I was a bit disappointed at times, it was pretty good in general. Right when I arrived, my aunt took me around so many places, I was incredibly tired and worn out. Then my cousin Marla picked me up so we could surprise Janessa at the Cheesecake Factory. I had to wait awhile after my cousin sat with them at the table, then I walked towards them with my sunglasses on and stopped and said "Janessa, what are you doing here?" HAHA she hella was like "wait, what?!" and then she cried of happiness. Beautiful success. Lol. The next few days went by so fast.

Friday - Went to Broadway with Marla and my aunt. Bought a few things at UO. Chilled at Marla's house. Had a bbq.
Saturday - Janessa's grad. It was weird because it at Tacoma Dome which is basically where major concerts are held. There were 4 graduations that day. I don't get why it's not just at their school, but whatev. I guess there are some positives like viewing the graduates and organization. Ness had her gradnight afterwards so I chilled with Ansell. Called up his cousin John and we walked around Downtown Seattle. Then went back to Sell's and just slept there til like 1. He dropped me off at Nessa's and I just slept til the next morning.
Sunday - Went to Marla's place to watch the game, so Sell picked me up. Ness & Louis came later after their friend's grad dinner. Had a badass headache. Left around midnight. Slept at fcuking 2.
Monday - Ness took me to SushiLand (BOMB) and I beasted. Then went to this apartment complex's pool to hang with Nessa's friends Alice, Divya, and Truc. It was good seeing them again. Then went to Ranch and then went back to the house to get my luggage. Got home around midnight.

I want to go back, but I have no idea when. There doesn't seem to be enough time for a good week or two there since I have alot of senior events coming up.

But anyways, busy this week. Goodnight.

Chillin' at Ocean Beach before I left for Seattle

When I surprised herrrr!

The fam

A heart design I found on an old receipt I had

I Want To Hold Your Hand

40 MPG Hydrogen Supercar Unveiled

Texas-based Ronn Motor Company has unveiled a hybrid-powered sports car that runs on a mix of hydrogen and gasoline, leading to reduced emissions and efficiency figures of 40 mpg. The Scorpion supercar also boasts a high performance V-6 engine, capable of delivering 289 hp, with an additional option for a 450 hp model.

Unlike other cars using hydrogen, the Scorpion does not contain fuel cells. Instead, it employs an alternative approach by reconfiguring a standard internal combustion engine to run on a combination of gasoline and hydrogen. According to Ronn, this technology enables a 30-50% boost in fuel efficiency over comparable gas-only power trains.

The in-built hydrogen on-demand system, developed by Hydrorunner, uses dual-computer processor controls to produce hydrogen on-board and induct it through the air-intake manifold as required. This means that there is no need for an integrated high-pressure hydrogen storage tank or hydrogen fuelling stations. Instead, the scorpion uses a small on-board water tank.

The car is currently in pre-production and due for release by the end of the year. Ronn are currently accepting advance-orders for an initial limited run, with price and production numbers due to be announced “early summer 2008.” - EcoGeek.org

That's a pretty sexy car for a hybrid! If I had that .. oh maaan. Too bad I'm not a billionaire. Going green can be expensive. Like for instance with clothes, organic shit is over $100! For just like a nice top or something. And there are not alot of organic selling places around Daly City. Probably and most likely on Haight, but it's not very convenient. But I'm continuing to try really hard.

This summer ..
- Buy a glass water bottle
- Tell my mom to stop buying plastic bottles
- Use that reusable bag we have from Lucky's for groceries
- Recycle every little bit of paper
- Try to find things to do w/o driving alot
- Use only sunlight until 9 PM

But anyways, on a less green note. I have other goals for this summer as well. Hopefully I can stick to them throughout the entire summer and then also throughout the upcoming school year. They're basically typical ones. You know ones like ..
- Eat no fast food WHATSOEVER (not even in 'n out :[)
- 200 crunches a night
- Go to the gym atleast twice a week
- Jog/walk Lake Merced every sunday (I've been wanting to do this since the beginning of junior year, but no one ever wanted to go ..)
- Study for SAT/ACT
- Apply for jobs
- Get my cousin's car
- Finish personal statement
- Save my birthday money (So far its $330, so don't let me spend any!)
- Win the BET! Hahahah.
Yeah .. pretty much it.

Hopefully today Jay, Dianne and them will come pick me up so we can hang out before I leave on Thursday. Then on Wednesday with the Pack. Muy emocianado. I think that's right. ha.

I thought this was pretty funny.


Until next time, this is Connie Chen reporting your daily news. Thank you and goodnight.

Black Girl Pain

Cool title huh? Thanks Talib.

Well anyways, IT'S SUMMERTIMEEEEEEEEEEE! I can't believe it's already here. I've been wanting it since the day school started. Haha. I really need to live it up this summer because it's the last before the last year of high school. Weird. Not many planned events like last year, but I'm just going with the flow and whatever goes down, GOES DOWN. Lol.

SATs were yesterday. Not very exciting or easy. Saw HELLA random people like Souyma, Celestine, Justine, Karl, Chris, etc. I haven't seen those Westborough people in so long .. I miss them. And then I also saw some people I did not want to see, AHEMAHEM. But then afterwards, since I had Betty, the pack went to go watch Don't Mess with the Zohan. It was alright. Typical jokes, but overall pretty funny. But, it's not something I'd want to get on dvd. Too bad no sex .. and the city. Lol. But then we dropped Julia home and then went to Serramonte, just because. Then to Berna's chill casa. Her brothers friends were there + Jaydee and Kenny which was extremely weird, but funny at the same time.

For some reason today, I was so tired. I was trying not to close my eyes during mass and at my cousin's birthday party. Geez all those boys are grown up now. Their voices have all changed and are actually CHILL for once. Haha. Before they used to be so hyper and crazy. But it's cool, I barely see them. Watched the Zodiac which made me even more sleepy.

And so the summer adventures begin ...






OH WAIT! Gotta jot down a few things
-105
-0(planning to start tomorrow)

Falling

So I'm procrastinating on studying for the SAT subject tests I'm taking this Saturday. It's okay because I have plenty of time this week.

I was reading Berna's blog about making a list of all or a few of the things I hate/dislike and I decided I'm going to make one too. Haha.

I hate school. I hate that I'm not naturally smart like other people. I hate that I'm not satisfied with my SAT scores. I hate that I was a fool during sophomore year. I hate that I have so many regrets. I hate how I can never find the right one. I hate that my dad is gone. I hate the fact that memories of him are slowly drifting away. I hate being emo about it. I hate it when people think their problems are always the worst. I hate when people compete to see who has it worst. I hate that we always have to please you. I hate girls who talk about themselves like they're some kind of higher person. I hate girls who say they hate all girls. I hate how there's no effort in the friendship. I hate chemistry. I hate extreme perverts. I hate people who think they're the cutest thing in the world. I hate being an only child. I hate that I only had 7 memorable years with my dad. I hate how its been 7 years since he passed. I hate seeing my mom miserable. I hate how I'm a factor in her misery. I hate my uncle. I hate being underestimated, alot. I fucking hate boppers. I hate Daly City and its ugliness. I hate the vibe here. I hate how I don't think sometimes before I speak. I hate that I feel like a part of me is missing and not knowing what is missing. I hate so much hate.

Yeah, there's my list. Did I beat Berna? Idk. It's probably not all of it, but if I were to make a list of all the things I love/like it would definitely be longer.

Okay, I guess I should start studying.

Coastal Cities

Yeah, I'm still lazy to talk about last week, but here are some pictures ..


It's still hard to believe I'm already seventeen. I still feel like I'm about to enter my teenage years. Weird.

Finals this week and they are going to kill me. I really need to do well especially in algebra II and chem because those are my lowest grades. Photography I can hopefully get to an A- because of that one stupid darkroom day I skipped. English will hopefully also become an A- unweighted. History is like a straight B. Fck. I don't know how much this decade project will bring me up. Chem is slowly becoming a B-. Whatev though, I hate chem to the extreme. Spanish is a B+ which could be an A if Ms. Raley let me do a dialogue, but her lazyass closed her gradebook already! I will kill her one day.

Aiya, I still need to get my yearbook. So much to do still. It's the damn last week of school! I need to start looking at my subject test books to study for Saturday.

But Summer, you're almost here. I can't wait to see you again. YOU'RE THE BEST! Lmao.

Colors

Wow I haven't blogged in almost two weeks. Oh well, here I am now. Unable to go to sleep and its past my bedtime. Weaksauce.

Let me start with last friday. So my great friends from the pack surprised me with a cake and cupcakes which equals me suffering the entire day with them. My muscles were burning! Then afterschool, went to a short 09 meeting. AND THEN, suddenly, we're in the backhall & Julia comes behind me and blindfolds me! So then they tortured me even more than day until we got to the "mysterious place" which was Marie Callendars. Damn that food was baaamb. Goodshit. Then we just chilled at the mall and Berna's for awhile before I had to leave.

Next day=BIRTHDAYBIRTHDAYBIRTHDAY!
When I woke up, it didn't feel like my birthday. But whatev, went to Todai to get a free lunch! Then headed over to the cemetery and then some ... done. Hah. day was ruined, but its not like it hasn't been before ..

Sunday = DIANNE'S BIRTHDAYBIRTHDAYBIRTHDAY!
Well woke up to a shitty morning. Then just did nothing because I felt like shit. Then Dianne's mom called me and asked to come over to celebrate. So I get there kind of early and the girls came around 7.

yeah lazy, finish later

It's Like That

I am so glad that testing for AP is over with. This week has been test after test. Now all I have to worry about is possibly trying out for AP Gov/Econ and SAT IIs. I'm planning on taking subjects lit and u.s. history. *Note to self - Buy books soon.

I also had my green hat interview yesterday. Pretty scary, but I got through it. Now I'm just hopeful I get in. :)

Anyways,
Understand before you Judge. Research before you Conclude.
It's the end of the year, and I'm tired. Tired of hearing false rumors or things said. Tired of cliques. Tired of it alllll. I was angry before, but now I'm just sick of it. Something just showed us all that we don't have time to fight. No time to judge eachother. Don't connect me to an assumption when you don't even know the reason for my actions. Okay, I went because I know the pain that they feel. And it feels good to know that people who may not have even known the person personally, actually care enough to show their sympathy. It really hit home when I went, but I'm the type of person who can't fully let my feelings out. Only when I'll alone. Right now, I'm not concerned with who knows and making a whole gang of people go against whoever. I just want it to stop. Go beyond middleschool thinking. We're about to be SENIORS. This is kind of like a message to all the 09'ers. Really, I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. Ahhhh jeez. This is definitely not what I wanted to happen during the last few weeks of school. I think it's time I go to the cemetery, alone.

One sweet day.

Does He Know

Luckily I don't have a lot of homework today, so I guess I'll blog.

Since summer is inching closer, I feel that the drama that surrounds me or even that I'm involved in, should be forgotten. What will it matter in 4 weeks? You won't be seeing these people everyday for almost 3 months. So for now I'm just going with the flow with whatever choices I make. Summer, I've missed you and I'm excited to see you again.

I'm in desperate need of a job right now. Senior year, is the year I will go broke. Seriously okay theres SAT, ACT, FBLA events, prom, winterball, senior events, going out with friends, & now a debut. Aiya. PLUS I want to save up for college to help out my mom.

Then there's the issue of college. Already I'm totally freaking out! I would really like to go to a southern california UC or CSU, but there's problems with money and leaving my mom alone. Although, it would be nice to get away from this house, I'm scared to leave my mom alone. We're all eachother has. Corny, but it's true.

Whatever, stress is out the door and fun is coming in. WOO! Lol.

Miguel's bonfire was last saturday. Pretty damn fun for a first time bonfire go-er. Pics ...